mental health

I split up with my long term bf last year and it’s been Almost nine months. I didn’t allow myself to heal or get over the relationship and moved onto someone straight away it didn’t work out I still speak to both but I feel so confused I feel guilty in everything that I do. I just want to be alone but no one ever leaves me alone. I feel like it’s taking over my whole mind and making me feel so low. I see a future with the second guy but asked for space and time to heal myself. I told him we can’t be together right now for my own sanity. I feel so bad incase I hurt these people but still can’t put myself first what is wrong with me. Why am I so fucked up