Ideas on excitement in life?

I need some advice on how to change the way I feel and see life itself. I have goals and ambitions. I want to be successful. Which is why I’m so entirely confused about the way I’m feeling on a daily basis.

I used to be able to go out and enjoy things. I had hobbies. I used to play the guitar and drums and write songs. I could go out for day trips somewhere and enjoy myself and feel some sort of joy or excitement. I could feel the happiness. I don’t know when exactly that started to fade but I vaguely remember those times.. it would be a few years ago now..

Today and for the past few years, people have seen my smile and laugh, cry and be angry. Those days or moments when I’ve shown some sort of uplifting emotion, it’s because I knew I should actually feel that way. For example, if we are sitting around the dinner table at a family gathering and someone says something quite funny (according to everybody else) they would all laugh. I clearly know this is supposed to be funny or a fun time for all of us but I really won’t enjoy it. I will laugh along though. But it’s not exactly meaningful like how it was a few years back. I don’t have hobbies anymore. I try to be more involved with conversations and days out but I still didn’t feel that inner feeling that I know I should. I cannot be bothered to put in the effort to things which end up being too draining or such a strain on me. What is the point?

You see when people invite me out somewhere and I’m really not feeling it after everything, and I decide to say something like “I’d rather not thanks” and being as polite I can be, they end up feeling mad because I’m being “spoilt” or “ungrateful” but honestly I’m really not.. I’m just trying to do the right thing and not waste money or people’s time when I know for a fact I won’t enjoy it as I haven’t had the pleasure too with anything else. Don’t get me wrong, not everything is SO dull. On a rarity, I do find the odd thing which will make me happy for a split moment. But that doesn’t keep up for long periods of time. Sometimes I see life so literally. Eg: someone is playing on the roundabout at a park, I see them spinning around just to make them feel sick, like really? I don’t see everything as literal as that of course but I don’t know how or why I’m feeling this way and when it will end..

if anyone feels the same or could give advice it wold be much appreciated ❤️