118 days since the break up.

So. It’s been four months since I was dumped. I’ve never really gotten into depth about the after-math with anyone. My friends, or family. Sometimes I feel like they don’t care, or I don’t try opening up about this because I don’t want to be annoying. This boy was my first love. I genuinely thought he would be my husband one day, so I justified sending him pictures of myself and even having intimacy (growing up thinking I’d wait till marriage). He broke up with me over the phone after we became distant. We were together for a year and 10 months. All I can remember is crying uncontrollably and hearing him tell me to “just breathe.”. Every word that came out of his mouth continued to crush and break me down, and to this day they still repeat in my head. I’ve gotten better since then, but I feel incredibly lonely and sad some days. I feel stuck. He will randomly text me just to ask me how I’m doing, if I have a book that he left me, if I’m excited to for the upcoming school year, etc. And I text back because I don’t want to be rude, but he won’t respond until days later...so sometimes I’m left with this feeling of unworthiness and disappointment. I don’t expect us to get back together some day, especially with the way he treated me despite the many attempts I tried being patient. So, now I’m just here. I don’t know what to do. I feel really lost and worried, and very lonely. He posts on Facebook, and he seems to be very happy. Which, I’m happy for him, but at the same time, I feel like he purposely texts me so that the two can go hand in hand to hurt me? I don’t know. Help:(