This past weekend my fiancé and I spent the day with his dad and his dads long time girlfriend. To give a bit of background info, we are both 23 and we currently live with my parents because we have student loans and car payment etc. When my parents allow us to stay rent free, why would we start paying a ton of rent on a tiny apartment just to be “on our own”??

Anyways, every time we see them, my monster-in-law asks where we are going to live and what our financial situation is like. I get that she is concerned I guess but it comes of so judgey when she says, “so after you’re married, you’re going to still live with your parents..?”

I don’t see what’s wrong with that. We are trying to save for a down payment for a home while paying off our wedding at the same time on top of every other payments. By the end of this year our wedding will be completely paid for! (We are getting married next June and we are really proud of ourselves for not going into debt to get married) Another important detail is my fiancé switched jobs (as recommended by this woman who wants us to be on our own) and now he is being paid far less than he was in hopes of it advancing his career in the future. SHE harassed my fiancé into switching to this new job then wonders why we have no money?

I have no problem with the job change, or living with my parents, or getting married so young. I don’t see why she tears me down every time I see her. I show up expecting the worst yet every time we leave in the car on the drive home I feel so shitty about myself and our current situation.

At 23, I don’t feel that it’s fair to pressure us into moving out of my parents house if we can’t afford it.

She judges us on so many things it’s hard to name them all, but to name another, we started discussing wedding plans. I said the men wouldn’t be in suit jackets or tux’s. Her response was, “so are the men doing to be in kaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt then? Or is it not that casual?”

What is so wrong with our decisions?

Ugh.

Throughout my day to day life I feel great. When I leave their house I’m so stressed about our future that I’m in tears. I dread going to see my fiancé’s dad in fear that his girlfriend will be there.

Thanks for reading, I’d just like to know methods on how to cope with judgemental in laws or know that someone is going though something similar.