I’m 20 years old, and I was home for the summer (I had knee surgery in April so I moved out of my apt because it would be easier to live at home), and I move back into my apartment next week for college. When I was going into surgery, I weighed about 145-150 pounds, and now I weight about 120-123 pounds. This is all because after my surgery my appetite changed completely for some reason, and now I’m in physical therapy and have been for about ten weeks, I’m able to work out a bit. Today I had to do some grocery shopping, to buy my salad stuff, and I bought some chickpeas because I wanted to make hummus from scratch for fun and bought some pita chips. I bought two bags of Stacy pita chips (because I move into the apartment next week and I’m not taking my car with me to college), so it’ll last me a while. It takes me roughly three weeks to get through one bag of pita chips because I use it for my salad or sometimes I’ll eat like one or two a day for a small snack.

My mom saw that I got two bad and she exploded. And I explained to her that t was because I was going away for college in a week and she started laughing at that. And she stared yelling at me saying I’m fat and overweight and that all I’m gonna do is sit and watch tv and finish the chips in one go. Which I know I’m not because I physically cannot eat a full bag in one go. And she started pinching my skin and leg where I had thigh fat or stomach fat and she slaps my butt and says that no guy wants a fatass. I also am 5”1, so I know that I’m bound to have more fat on my thighs and stomach because I’m not tall.

I know I’m not fat, but it’s like no matter how many times I tell her it doesn’t matter. I heard the same lecture at least three times a week and at least once a day she slaps my bit and comments about how fat it is and how I have to lose weight. And it hurts and every time she yells at me for my weight, whenever she’s gone I just cry because like she’s my mom. And it’s frustrating trying to explain to her. Everyday I eat salads for lunch, and is don’t even eat breakfast or dinner 90% of the time. Maybe once in two weeks I’ll eat a dinner, but thats it. And it’s not like I’m starving myself, I just don’t get that hungry. Or maybe I’ll cook up some asparagus and zucchini and spice it up and have a bowl of that for dinner, and that lasts me about two or three days. So I do eat healthy and everything, i just don’t know what to do anymore.

I used to have an eating disorder, and I used to

Be anorexic, and I don’t want to go back there, but I feel like I’m slowly on that road again. It’s almost 6:30 pm and I haven’t eaten all day, and I’m so hungry but I know that if I eat something it’s another lecture and yelling from my mom and I just can’t be bothered about that and I don’t want to feel bad about myself again. I already am self conscious about my body and she’s just not helping.

Am I at a good weight or do I still need to lose more? My mom wants me to weight about 110 pounds

What do I do