Idk if this should go in the rant, teenage relationships, or the depression&anxiety category so...

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and a half (officially on October 5th) and I’m pretty sure he’s “the one” however I’m young, and not completely delusional so I’m aware that things might not end up working out as we get older. But that’s not the point lol; neither of us can drive yet, since we are 14(him) and 15(me). We also live 35 minutes away from each other. because of this, there are times when we go weeks without seeing eachother just because plans don’t always line up. And it’s seriously affected my mental health. So much so that I’ve debated breaking up with him multiple times. I start to get seriously depressed after just 2 weeks of not seeing eachother, and suffer serious withdraw symptoms. He’s like a literal drug, how stupid that might sound. I used to be okay when he dropped me off at home after hanging out all day. But recently I haven’t been able to leave him without breaking down crying. We face time, text, or play video games together constantly and most of the time I’m fine, but the moment he tells me he’s going to hang up because he can’t fall asleep on call, I start getting seriously clingy and sometimes even start crying because I can’t stand leaving him. it hurts far too bad, and It just keeps getting worse. I’ve talked to my best friend about it multiple times, but she can only help so much. I know I’m supposed to enjoy being young but I can’t fucking stand being 15, not being able to do things and constantly feeling restricted. I swear to the g o d s 12-15 have been the worst years of my life. I just want to be grown. Many people mistake me for a young adult because I have the maturity and looks of a late teenager. I don’t even see the point in being alive 90% of the time. My boyfriend has to remind me that I haven’t even lived my life yet when I start getting like that. I don’t want to kill myself. But theoretically if someone was to offer me death I’d accept. I want to be older. I don’t care about the responsibilities that come with being an adult. I just want to be able to live my life without being told I’m “too young for this” and “too old for that”. I hate watching people in their 20s being happy with their partners, living together and not having to deal with wondering when they’ll see each other next. I don’t want to have to wait to be happy. I want my life to start now. The only times I’m genuinely happy are when I’m with my boyfriend. That doesn’t mean I’m always sad, I’m just in a constant “I don’t care lol” mood unless I’m with him. Idk. I remember being a child and wishing I was a teenager. Now I’m a teenager and want to be an adult. It doesn’t stop does it? Everyone always wants to grow up or go back in time.