What do I do?

Question

I’m going to keep this short. My MIL came up to what I thought was a visit but decided to stay for a couple of months. My husband knew about it already, but I wasn’t aware of it. She’s been making life hell since she got here & waiting on these next few month to leave seem like an eternity.. she doesn’t help with cleaning around the house, she uses one of our vehicles & doesn’t even put gas when it’s empty, she doesn’t do anything. My husband has been pushing me away ever since she got here but he doesn’t see that... I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been so stressed out. When we talk we end up arguing & everything I’ve told him before he throws it in my face like if it meant nothing.. I feel like my marriage is going to fall apart... what do I do 😭

Answer

First of all, that was a totally sh1t move of him to move in his mother without talking to you first.
The choices I see are:
1. Decide to live in misery knowing he's always going to put his mother first.
2. Put an exit plan in place for yourself so you can move on with your life and live on your own terms. 
3. Give him an ultimatum, her or you on a particular date. (This has choice 2 steps planned out for yourself if that's the way his choice falls.)
Note: by putting his mother before you it will be he who has given up on the marriage vows. So don't allow yourself to feel guilty about leaving.

Answer

I don't know what you do, hon..
But I can tell you what I'd do..
I'd pack my shit and tell him I'm staying at a hotel until his mom is gone. If he doesn't even respect me enough to talk to me about this before making these types of arrangements I would need to re-think my marriage, anyway.

Answer

Yeah he should have talked to you first before doing that, marriage is a team on making decisions. And how long is she going to be staying is it permanent, sounds like it. I would leave until she does, no reason you should be putting up with her crap. Does she help cook since she doesn't clean?

Answer

I would send his mom packing. No way in hell will anyone make me uncomfortable in my own home.

Answer

Yeah you’re definitely not wrong for feeling the way you do. He should have came to you first and asked you if you cared. I’m sorry but if my MIL was acting this way, I would kick her out. This situation is so wrong. Honestly I would do what one of the other ladies said, pack some of my stuff and stay in a hotel until he tells her to leave. I would let your husband know that you’re not coming back till she’s gone. In a marriage you NEVER put your mother before your wife. My ex husband one time stuck up for his mother over something so petty. She was being VERY disrespectful to me in MY house while she was visiting (and every other time before that) and I finally stuck up for myself. My husband told me I was being very rude to her and disrespectful TO HER!!! Couldn’t believe my ears. (A little more to the story than that but that’s basically what it was about) not too much longer after that I divorced him and his mother/family had A LOT to do with it among other things. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Think about is this really what you want to deal with for the rest of your life? I’m not saying get a divorce over this, but if he’s not going to put his foot down and be respectful to you then I would reconsider this marriage.

Answer

He definitely should of talked to you first. I would be petty and when they both leave change the locks to the house and make sure they don’t have keys to the car you mainly use. 😅 but that’s super extreme. I agree with the other commenter that gave you the 3 options. He should be choosing you over her and he didn’t even try to talk to you about it.

What do I do?

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