Would this bother you?

Question

My bf was w his ex for three years. They were "high school sweethearts". She was his first and all the sudden she basically just ghosted him after going to college... this isnt a "I feel threatened by her" post because I know she's in his past. BUT he has told me things ab their relationship that bugs the actual crap out of me. 
It all started when he said "by her being my first love.. I did things for her that I shouldnt have been doing that early. I'll always have love for her tho"... that really annoys me because I want his whole heart😔 
The other thing that bugs me is, he's told me he used to buy her flowers, write her notes and poems, blow his friends off for her. All of this cute stuff that I've always wanted in a relationship. But he refuses to do anything like that for me. I can hardly get him to tell me how he feels about me... 
I tried to explain to him that I'm not asking him to love me yet because I understand thatll come with time. But I dont understand why he cant do cute things like that for me to show me how special I am😔

Answer

Kinda sounds like you are a rebound. 
I think everyone you truly love will always have a small piece of you. That doesnt mean that you should completely change your outlook in love, or your investment.

Answer

i dunno. the minute he’s bragging about how he use to do love notes and give her flowers makes him seem like he’s stuck in the past and you’re a rebound. 
i know it’s shitty and most girls will say the same thing but i think you should just let him go :/ he’s enforcing this relationship so hard because he never got closure from his ex since he got ghosted. which is wrong and really unfair to you tbh.

Answer

I think you need to stop harping on his past relationship. Do you want the exact same relationship he had with her? It’s also possible and normal to have love for all sorts of people in your life- there is plenty of love to go around but what he means is she’ll also be part of his memories- some good and some not. Stop worrying, stop comparing and start enjoying your own relationship with him.

Answer

Sounds like his still stuck on her

Answer

I would personally be bothered by this because while I understand every situation is different and the way my significant other is with someone else may be different than how he is with me, I would still feel like I’m worthy of being treated in that same capacity if not more. I would personally feel like if my man doesn’t think I’m deserving of the best then he might not be for me. He can’t hold you accountable for her actions and things that transpired during that failed relationship. It honestly sounds like he hasn’t fully healed from that situation and as cliche as it sounds, hurt ppl, hurt ppl. If you are doing the best you can to be the best you can for him, I don’t think he can possibly ask for more. This is much easier said than done trust me, I’m currently sorta taking my own advice lol (....realizing I didn’t even offer any advice 🤔) I would suggest having a conversation with him about how you feel you’re being treated in the relationship and how certain things that he says bother you and why. Be firm, clear and direct cus guys are simple and you wanna get straight to the point and have plenty of supporting details. He’s already committed to being in a relationship with you so if he’s a good guy that cares about how you feel, he’ll most likely take steps in adjusting his behavior. I’m speaking from the perspective of an outsider looking in so overall, I would just say follow your heart. You’ll know to do what’s best for you. Good luck babe 💕

Answer

This is going to sound harsh, but it’s 💯 truth love. He will either do those things for you or not. If I’m really into a guy I’ll go the extra mile for him, just like the guys I date go the extra mile for me.

Would this bother you?

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