Husband left

To cut long story short. In December would be our 25 year anniversary. In 2017 he said wanted a divorce only after he had been very friendly with another mum at our kids school which led to the truth finally after 10 years I found out which I already new he had an affair whilst I was pregnant with our first. In between then that 10 year he got friendly on line texting other females says then that only 1 but I have my doubts. After short period of time we sorted things out. Fast forward to present we have 4 kids our 2 oldest boys who r 12 n 10 have a muscle waisting disease along with adhd, asd, one also has intellectual learning disability our other kids r 8 n 4 this month. Any how for few wks he stayed out til early hrs n various other times with different excuses never said just left me at home waiting. Then last wk said was moving out as felt like this for while even after we had weekends break recently first time away without kids wanted another baby. He moved out five days later. He left with nothing basically as car is mine. He says mostly wen I threw him out last time n he had to wander streets. Says no one else n says been honest. Then comes round does things he’s always done ranking on bout promotion he gotten. I have been left feeling empty n lost as I have no idea why n how thinks his life going b better. Totally list what think n do everyone says I’m strong but feel like wasted my life n for what.