So long crazy story short. Im in a mentally and physically abusive relationship. Its been 4 years and mostly its all mental. I can't spend money, I can't dye my hair other than blond, he starves me because I said I "Wanted to try and lose weight." He tells me my own family hates me. He hits me every time he gets drunk and he's an alcoholic. Mind you, he was deported and im the one who makes ends meet. He literally has nothing to offer me anymore and I feel like im done. Hes completely demolished the last little bit of love I had for him im the last few months. He's never cheated as far as I know but I wouldn't put it past him. He has no emotions. Won't go anywhere during the day cause its too hot outside! I feel like im in prison in the house we live in because hes convinced me that If i go on walks outside I have a high chance of getting kidnapped in this country. But as soon as its 8pm he's gone like the motherfucking wind. I dont see him till about 2am. He gets a job and after the first day he quits. Were completely broke and guess who has not one penny to her name to go home. This girl. Guess who's scared to talk to her family. This girl. My family already hates me because i wouldnt leave him in the past. So basically my only way out is...none.

Ive tried googling charities or crisis lines for domestic abuse victims. But there's nothing. I cant work here cause you have to be fluent in there language. Any suggestions?