Tantrums/ mom broke down!

How do/did you guys deal with tantrums with your 1yr/o going on 2?

She goes into a crazy screaming tantrum when you tell her "no" or "stop"

She's at that age where she just wants to do everything her self.

She's a horrible/ picky eater

& bed time routine I think I need to do something different but idk. I lay with her quietly in my bed after reading a book or doing hand puppets and wait for her to go to sleep, then I transfer her to her crib. Last night I was just so overwhelmed because while trying to put her to bed she was yelling up a storm because I WOULDN'T LET HER FALL. She taught it was funny to roll to the foot of the bed where she knows there's a gap where she can fall threw. The neighbors were knocking AGAIN on my wall to quiet her down.

I'm a new mom & I work FT & I'm also ALONE most of the time because my husband works out of town a lot. I feel overwhelmed today so much that I called off work ( since I have a lot of sick time) just to have a day & catch up with house cleaning. I'm not complaint, just venting, I know you've been there once in a blue moon. But as a new mom I just need advice. Thanks