Should I feel wrong?

Question

I’m being induced Sunday night at 6:00. I’ve been having changing emotions about who I want to be around after I have the baby, and for when/how long. This is my first baby, so I’m trying to please everyone while trying to please myself as well. I know after I have the baby, I will be tired and I will just want to enjoy my baby for myself for a little while. Everyone is pressuring me to see the baby soon after he is born, but I really just don’t know how I’ll feel. I obviously want everyone to be around and see the baby, but nobody is understanding where I’m coming from. At first I said a few hours after people could come, then I changed my mind and said possibly around a day after, since I’m going to be stuck in the hospital anyway. I don’t want my family or my boyfriends family hounding me, and I know some of them absolutely will. I don’t want a bunch of people in the waiting room, and I just want it to be my experience without people stressing me out... a lot of them are disrespectful to me anyway, and act like anything I say about what I want is a joke. For example kissing the baby... my own dad laughed in my face when I said no kisses and I’m just so stressed already 😫😤 I don’t know what to do at this point because even my boyfriend is just telling me to make up my mind, but he fails to understand I’m literally going to be pushing a person out of my vagina. My grandmother is going to pass away any night now, and I have a lot of built up stress on top of all of this. I feel like my head is going to explode, and I’m at the point where I’m about to just tell EVERYONE I’m doing this alone - including my boyfriend. I desperately need some encouragement........

Answer

I agree! I’m a FTM and I don’t want anybody there except fiancé and nobody to even meet baby until he is two or more weeks old! It’s flu and sick season and I don’t want to take any risks. Family and friends never respect washing hands, no kissing, getting shots, etc. My MIL is pissed but I don’t care. At the end of the day I carried this baby for 10 months, I am the one pushing him out, therefore it’s my decision what’s best for me and baby! I am just not telling anyone when I go into labor/being induced. And just in case telling hospital no visitors. Once you’re a parent I feel like you can’t feel bad to hurt others feelings if it’s the best decision for you and your child.

Answer

I would just tell everyone you’ll send a text when you’re ready for visitors but you want your time with the baby first. If they can’t respect that they probably aren’t people you’ll want around much anyway to be honest. People that can’t respect simple requests have a hard time respecting anything I’ve noticed. Be your own advocate and stand up for yourself. Send a mass text if you have to. There is nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling. When I had my daughter, visitors overwhelmed me to the point of tears. Don’t let that be you...it doesn’t have to be that way. This time I’m going to speak up for myself.

Answer

I feel the exact same way!!!
 i told my husband the only ppl i want knowing I’m in labor are people that i don’t care about seeing my vagina or me extremely emotional. And he understood that. And then i switched to i don’t think i want people there after having the baby besides family and his family cannot know I’m in labor until i start pushing (they live far enough away that they should get here by the time I’m done, if everything goes smoothly) or once the baby is born so we can have time with our daughter.
He agrees and understand I’m going to be very vulnerable and emotional.
The next day i told him no visitors unless i personally ask for ppl to come because i heard the second day you’re extremely emotional.
No one but my family are allowed at the house after birth either unless i approve it. We have a puppy and i don’t want her to get ignored or people get annoyed or try to discipline her for being curious about the baby! I want her to adjust and be comfortable!

Answer

We live in a different state than our family so it’s a little different. But we’re not having anyone visit for a week!  We want time to figure it out on our own and get our own rhythm first. That’s also bc when family come they will be staying in our home 24/7. The point is - do what you need to do for you and baby. And if you’re unsure just say “I’ll invite you when the baby and I are up to it”. You don’t even have to tell them when you go into labor!  This is not about them. And you’re not crazy for having no idea what you will want to do- none of us FTM have any idea how we will feel afterwards.

Answer

I don’t know if you’ve already told everybody your induction day, but I’m being induced on the 11th and I’m not telling anybody at all that I’m going in. I won’t announce to anybody until I’m ready for people to come. If you’ve already told people the induction day, don’t tell them when you actually have baby until you’re ready. Induction takes time so I don’t think most people are going to wait in the waiting room for 24+ hours. If they ask why you didn’t tell them or they’re upset they didn’t know right away just tell them everything happened so fast you didn’t have the time to stop and inform everyone every second detail.

Answer

Just say no! The hospital will respect your wishes and if you don't want someone in there they won't allow it. It's shitty if it has to go down that way but you gotta do what's best for you mama

Answer

No one should pressure you to decide.
Honestly as a first time mom or even a seasoned mom, there is no way to know how you will feel after you've had the baby.
With my first, I was sort of sad that I had asked no one to come that first day. I was feeling good and he was born in the morning. I felt like I was just sitting in the hospital all day with my little buddy wishing I could share him with everyone. Plus I could have used the test while people passed him around and gushed. (Granted my first was born before smart phones so there was no sharing him via social media or staying connected to people as I waited.)
However with my third, he was born at night and it was a long labor. Even the next day, I wished people were not there or if they came that they only stayed briefly and these were my select close friends and family.
I'm doing a home birth this time so I think it will change how I feel, but I'm not telling anyone I'm in labor or after I've delivered until I know how I will feel. 
You got to do you. This is just one of the many trials you will have as a mom establishing boundaries. Feel confident and don't feel bad.

Answer

I totally get it. No one knows or will ever know what you are going to be going through. With my son, I made it clear before he was born that no one was to be in the waiting room except his grandparents. No visitors to the hospital, other than extremely close friends or family members who cleared their visit with me first. Everyone can wait u til you are at home and settled. Stay firm, don’t push yourself to do more than you are ready for. You will have just gone through the most physically demanding trauma a person can endure, you will need rest. The first few moments with your babe are so precious, don’t let other intrude on that if you aren’t comfortable. Good luck Mama! You will do great!

Answer

I am absolutely refusing any visitors at the hospital except my 10 year old daughter and mother. Everyone else will have to wait until we are home. I want that time in the hospital to be the bonding time for my little family and no one else.

Answer

We said nobody at the hospital, which was great. I said no visitors for the first two weeks. That included family. Most were cool with that, a few were angry, but they can do whatever they like when they have kids. This worked for our family. We got to bond, figure out routines, and have so many special memories of that time. No regrets, and I plan on doing that again.
You can't please everyone. Just do what makes you comfortable and happy. And if people don't like it...well, that's ok.

Should I feel wrong?

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