Am i silly for being this way?

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Two years in the same country, and as of now, 2 years of long distance. But we see eachother every few mobths. We are both college studentsThroughout the four years, I feel like I have been more angry and sad than happy. Throughout that time, im not sure if he has slept with anyone, but he i have caught him cheating with other women via text and social media multiple time. We cried, and somewhat moved on.I developed insecurity reasons from it. He has never had any problems of that nature with me.

I have always been surprising him with little gifts, romantic notes and dinners, hotel room surprises, random cards and love balloons. Every romantic thing you can think of I have done to express my love.

I know everyone is different, but he has only ever given me a promise ring, and he said he got it because i was always nagging for one (not in direct words but that was what i got from his words. And he didnt do it romantically, just gave it to me after an argument while im sitting on the couch heartbroken because of him and another girl).

Apart from all that, I spend alot of money buying him clothes and shoes and jewellry that he asks for. He sends money i send it to him. He doesnt do the same for me. I cant ask him for anything.Whereas he has only ever gotten me three things, i literally can count.He doesnt do anything to make me feel appreciated. It doesnt have to be materialistic.

When it is his friends birthday including the females, he gets them gifts and he goes out of his way to do thoughtful stuff for other people. He has never gotten me anything for my birthday. Whereas every birthday, I give him something, and he expects it.

I have to beg him to talk to me most times and when I do, i feel so desperate and stupid.

I really love him, but i feel like his sugar mama. Now, he wants to get married next year and I am wondering if this is what it will be like after marriage.Him always being satisfied in all departments, meanwhile I am here unsatisfied and angry and sad.

I am not perfect, because i am very moody and sometimes clingy, but apart from that I am a great girlfriend. I wash, cook and clean very well. Im smart, im thoughtful, im romantic, i am very beautiful and so much more.Why cant he treat me as such? I have cried so many times over the past four years because of this relationship. Im like I should walk away but my emotions wont let me. I am very unsatisfied and unhappy. When i try to talk to him about my feelings he says I complain too much and Im annoying him.

Im tired of feeling this. im giving someone my 100% and getting 40% in return.