Is my husband being fair?

Question

So my husband and I have an 8 month old. And since my son was born, my husband would basically take him to the living room at around 6 or 7 am (when my son would wake up) and watch him until around 10 or 11am, so that I can sleep in. 
In exchange for this, I would have to tend to my son the rest of the day without much help from my husband. My husband claims that since I am the one that is sleeping in, in the morning, I should take care of our son during the rest of the day. 
Is this fair? 🤨
Edit:: my husband works three days a week

Answer

No, but nor do I think it's fair for him to have to take care of the baby while you sleep for an extra 3-5 hours.  Taking care of baby is a team effort, not a "you take this shift and I'll take that one."  While I don't think he's totally being fair, I can see why he feels the way he does.

Answer

This just sounds kind of uneven on both sides. That's kind of excessive for routine sleeping in with a baby, & it's also excessive for him to consider himself free of parenting for the rest of the day. Why don't you cut back the sleep-in (heck, an hour or so is already a very nice favor imo) & he can have an hour or so to himself later if he wants but otherwise be fully participatory?

Answer

I think it sounds pretty fair, honestly. 
My husband doesn't help with our kids like at all. Hes never woken up with them at night, doesnt wake up in the morning with them and doesn't stay up to put them in bed. I do all the schooling, bathing, cooking and everything else. 
I'd be happy if he let me sleep in.
But I guess it depends on your relationship.
My husband works a lot and I stay home.

Answer

If I were you; On the days he works I would wake up at the same time as him, take care of the baby, make breakfast, clean, make dinner, be the “perfect” stay at home wife/ mom. Then on the days he’s home it’s 50/50! If he doesn’t want to help as much with the baby then he needs to get another job. So to answer your question it’s not fair for either party. You think he’s “living the life“ not caring for the baby 10am to bedtime, and he thinks you’re “living the life” sleeping in until 10am or 11am. 
Basically If you’re justifying something not being fair, you better believe he has 10 more justifications of his own. Just beat him in his own game with good old fashion smarts. Don’t give him anything to “justify”

Answer

Fair or not, this arrangement clearly isn’t working for you, and THATS what matters. 
So it’s time to come up with a new arrangement. You two should sit down together and figure out what works for both of you.

Answer

Do either of you work outside the home?
I literally got shower and cook dinner time only a few days a week

Answer

No not fair at all. My husband doesn’t take my daughter every morning that he is off but when he does and I sleep in for an hour or so, he still helps the rest of the day. We try and switch off mornings so we both get to sleep, until my daughter had an off night and I was up a lot then he takes her no matter what.

Answer

Your husband sounds like a prick. Imagine not wanting to take care of the baby you made (that’s directed towards him, not you)

Answer

Absolutely not.

Answer

It's obviously not working for you so its time to have a conversation about it. In my view parenting isn't about keeping track of how many hours you've each spent and making sure its all even but making sure you're both happy with the arrangement. The last thing you want is to start feeling resentful of him, that would just add to the frustration of parenting. Although I think its nice that he wants to give you a sleep in he needs to hear from you that you need more from him. It's a tiring job looking after a baby and I find as much as having a sleep in is really nice its equally nice when my husband takes baby during the day and gives me time just to do something for myself.

Is my husband being fair?

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