Venting .. my mind is confused

So my boyfriend & I have been together for 4 years now .. on & off.. he’s 22. I’m 21 .. & I’m just confused alittle & need to vent.. I’m super super in love with him. I love him more than anything. we have been fighting lately.. & recently my ex just started talking to me .. I gave in .. 🤕 & idk.. I definitely do still have feelings for my ex .. he’s my first love .. but he is married but he is about to get a divorce .. my current boyfriend has “cheated” on me .. & that’s why we have broken up a few times .. he never slept with anyone .. but lied about talking to certain females .. he never hid his phone .. just hid certain things on his phone .. but we recently broke up for 6 months .. & just got back together in July.. idk. . I feel like love is still there but he just doesn’t love me .. my ex knows I’m with my boyfriend but idk if he’s just talking to me .. for a sexual attraction or he’s into me .. my ex and I were together when we were very young.. he was my first love & he cheated on me cause we were in a long distance relationship.. & he’s still far.. idk what to do.. I loveee my boyfriend .. but I do still have feelings for my ex .. idk if it’s feelings feelings or just he came into my life at a rough time & is giving me attention.. & I’m thinking about what COULD have been.. idk. I just have no one to talk to & need to vent..