Get more grit

My boyfriend and mom said i need to get more grit they both said i was a pushover idk where it's coming from i guess i do let him get away with always being busy and not seeing me like he used to and i do constantly apologize but i don't think im a pushover and he says jokingly he wants an aggressive girl we don't argue and its been a year but he said he wants someone he could argue with (which sounds toxic and crazy to me) are their anyways i could be more aggressive