Dating a widower with 4 kids

I met this man a month ago and I think I really love him. I haven't introduced him to my parents and family because am scared and I know what they will say. I don't want to have kids for him since he already has 4 kids but he feels it's best I have my own. I might not marry him because am taking pills to avoid being pregnant and I don't want my family to disown me. We had serious issues recently that ended in a breakup because I was distancing myself from him but I was able to get the relationship back. Now I feel it's probably because I was feeling scared of being alone that's why I wanted to get him back. Am really Just confused and indecisive.