Starting to feel bitter.

The last week I've been starting to feel really bitter. My son is 6 months old and we haven't gone out once since hes been born for more than a couple of hours. My good friend just had a baby recently and has already started to have a social life again, drinks on the weekends, they go out on dates and have friends over to their house and just have a life. I breastfeed still so I hate leaving my baby and didn't feel ready to leave him until recently. Im the only person who gets up at night and my baby still doesnt sleep through the night so Im so sleep deprived I'm angry all the time and in a daze. My friends baby sleeps 9 hours a night. We also have like nobody who can watch him for us. And our finances are so tight we have NO extra money to do anything. Not even eat out. I would like to just go out to dinner but can't. And we make good money but having a baby was WAY more expensive than we anticipated, even with a good amount of savings. Hes just had a lot of medical things come up that we keep getting bills for. I feel like all I do is work, come home and take care of a baby, and repeat.

We never get invited to things anymore. I have 3 coworkers who had a baby around the same time I did and they always talk about how they have plans on the weekends or go out to dinner or their parents take their babies over night...and I just go home every weekend. My life feels like it's on repeat. I had a very social life before and now it's just...blah.

I LOVE my baby with my whole entire heart and I want to spend every minute I can with him. But I'm just starting to feel bitter and bored. I'm sick of having no money, sick of working full time and having no extra money to do fun things or PTO to take time off because I have to use it for appointments. I don't know, I'm in a funk and I just want to get out of it and be happy again. 😔