I am a virgo and it is very hard for me to let myself go and open up. Last relationship I had over a year ago was terrible due to the fact that we had different view points and he was controlling, mentally possessive... it just wasn’t good all around. So after an experience like that it just reiterated the fact that men ain’t 💩 yada yada. However, I took time after the break up to focus on myself and make sure my mental health was in check. But also during this time I would download dating apps to feel validated 🤦🏾‍♀️(don’t worry, I’m in therapy).

Anywayyyy, about 3-4 months ago I started talking to this guy on tinder. We exchanged numbers, texted here and there. I didn’t take it seriously because you know- looking for validation smh. After some time He hit me up saying “hey, what happened, thought we had something good going. Hmu if you would like to get a drink.” So I basically said eff it, I’m not doing anything, why not.

So of course the first time meeting was awkward but we found things to talk about. We continued to text from there, have occasional meeting and stuff. While at work on day he sent me a series of gifs to help me get through the night. (Ik it sounds simple but in my previous relationship text messages were usually dry, like there was nothing to talk about. It was weird). Anyway, another meetup we ended up kissing, but it was bad because I was nervous and overthinking. After that meeting I started thinking “damn I f**ked up. I need to live in the moment.” That’s when I realized that I am starting to like him. More time passed, we still talked and he ended up texting me this:

I feel like I am in a whole different ball park because all these simple yet meaningful gestures he is doing is something I never had in previous relationship and for the first time, I don’t want to mess this up.

Just a random post diary