C-Section PTSD

I am 13 months postpartum and have been having really negative emotions associated with my delivery (emergency C-Section) abs especially my scar. All throughout my pregnancy I had planned to deliver my daughter all naturally, with no medication, and was really looking forward to experiencing labor and delivery and the entire process of bringing my daughter into the world. After 1.5 hours in triage I was rushed into the operating room for an emergency C-Section with very minimal explanation and maximum stress from my nurses and the on call doctor. When I tried to ask questions or stand up for myself and object to being put under anesthesia I was repeatedly told by the doctor that he didn’t have time to explain things and we didn’t have time to prepare for a normal C-Section because they couldn’t find my baby’s heart beat and I was wasting time and potentially killing my daughter by asking questions and being scared. What I had wanted to be a time of empowerment, of discovering my inner strength, and listening to my body quickly became a time of trauma, fear, and anxiety. While I am internally grateful for my labor and delivery nurse for rushing into the OR, taking control of the situation by finding my baby’s heart beat, and then calming me down that is the only ‘positive’ memory I have leading you to the delivery of my daughter. I was so traumatized by this experience and have no idea how to deal with that trauma or the guilt and shame associated with it. I feel like I’m the only one feeling this way and like I don’t have anyone to talk to or help me through this.