Please no judging:(

I have a 17month old and his actual dad isn’t on the birth certificate or was there throughout the pregnancy because he was a danger to us. Cops have been involved. I left him when I was 3m pregnant. I don’t want to go into details.

I got with someone else and he took care of my child and I ( I cant work due to multiple health reasons- I wish I could- but I’m currently waiting for disability income. My lawyers are working on it. But it’s going to take probably another 6m to a year, but my fiancé supported me and helped with all that so time wasn’t bothering me that bad.) and he was going to adopt my child once we got married so we’d all have the same last name. My child was going to call him daddy. He died a year ago. He was only 31. I really miss him. He was my soulmate (we were married years ago, but divorced over something stupid. I always loved him.)

I know I’ve made it this far, but I’m really struggling. Emotionally and mentally. Obviously financially. He was about to make a will but never got around to it so were left with nothing. So I’m living with my mom. Idk what I’d do without her. She has helped me so much.

I don’t want to ask for child support because I don’t want my son in danger. I hate asking for it, but is there any way I can get some kind of financial support without the biological dad being involved?