I’ve been with my boyfriend for going on four years. Everything was perfect the first year. We really understood each other and had a great sense of humor together. We would always laugh and enjoy each other’s company. After the first year or so we kind of got too comfortable with each other and would joke too much. He would joke about my looks or something and I would laugh but I never took it serious. Now after a while his jokes or comments have started to affect me. He will sometimes say I look fat or just comment on my appearance. Lately we’ve been going to the gym and he’s been comparing me to other girls and telling me comments like this is what you need to do to look like her and it makes me feel really bad about myself bc he’s been starting to compare me to these fitness girls. And whenever I feel insecure about myself and tell him he’ll try to reassure me and tell me i’m beautiful and he loves my body but the reason I feel this way is bc of his comments. Lately i’ve been feeling so insecure and I haven’t been feeling loved bc i feel like Im not good enough for him. We’ve had this issue many times and I feel like I always have to tell him how to treat me or how to be a respectful bf towards me and it’s always something new that I have to tell him. I’m so sad bc i don’t wanna give up but I feel like i’m at my breaking point. I love him so much but I don’t feel happy I just feel sad all the time and insecure. I talked about it with him and he told me he’ll change but I can’t get past the fact that this is a reoccurring problem and that every time he says he’ll change he does something new that makes me feel bad and I have to tell him to change again. I just talked to him and told him that I want to break up with him bc I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship anymore bc of the way he treats me. I don’t want to give up on him though I love him so much and it literally breaks my heart at the thought of not being with him bc regardless of everything he’s still my best friend. I’m just so sad my heart is broken. Has anybody else experienced this and were you able to work through it and have a good respectful relationship? I want to give him the benefit of the doubt bc I don’t want to let him go but I know i have to respect myself as well as to not get treated this way.

Also I’ve been crying bc I just remembered my last birthday with him. I don’t ever expect him to buy me anything I just like spending quality time with him. On this birthday we were going to have dinner with my family and i didn’t know what to wear so i took a pair of ripped jeans in the car as an option and he was insulting me saying i’m gonna look ugly if i wear those and yeah i appreciate the honesty but he was so mean about it and i felt insecure. I got over it though. He didn’t get me anything but i didn’t care bc we were having dinner, but on the way there he pulled over to get some flowers and i felt special bc i thought they were for me and i said oh these are so cute, but then he says yeah but i don’t like them bc of the skulls it has on the wrapping (the flowers were día de los muertos themed) and i said oh i like it and he was like yeah but my moms not gonna like it and then that’s when i realized they weren’t for me for my birthday they were for his mom. It really broke my heart and I always felt selfish bc he got them bc she was in the hospital bc of kidney stones but she had been in the hospital already for over a week and he decided to get them then on the day of my birthday when he had all week. Idk if that makes me selfish or not but i always remember how bad i felt that day. Anyway this is a really long post my bad I just had to vent so i could stop crying 😭