Vent?

I'll start off by saying I've been with my SO for almost 6 years, we're young, 21, 23. We have 2 kids, and they are my life. You have no idea how happy I want to be. I wanted to grow up , get married to the love of my life, have kids, have our own home and be happy, but I'm SO miserable with my boyfriend, I try so hard everyday to make things better and it's just not happening. He travels for work every couple of months and I catch myself just wanting him to go so bad, wondering when he'll be gone again because for those few weeks its calm and happy in the house, for those few weeks I get to enjoy my time with the kids and I'm not constantly being yelled at, I'm not hearing him constantly complain about me. Instead our relationship almost seems better, he tells me how much he misses me and the boys, he calls and we have good conversations. So why is it so messed up at home? I want things to be good so bad, I want to be happy with him so bad but I'm not. Every day its something with him, I feel so worthless and unwanted. Yes I've talked to him about it, sometimes he tells me things will get better and sometimes he just tells me to leave which is so disappointing. Then I start to think what am I gonna do? Ive been a stay at home mom, relying on him. He has a truck and a car, but both are his, I just use the car. Our wall in the bedroom is broken from him kicking the door in when he's mad. Our bedroom door is broken from him punching it when he's mad. He's gotten physical with me and if my sister were telling me this I'd tell her to pack up and leave. Why can't I? He's yelled at me in my face how worthless and lazy I am. He thinks being at home with our two boys is easy. I think he might actually hate me. I feel like he hates me because having the kids just put so much more responsibility on him and he looks at me and it reminds him of it. There's a guy that added me on facebook, we have a lot of mutual friends, I made it pretty clear that I'm in a relationship and note, I'd never do anything outside of it, but even as a friend he's been so nice to me, asking how my day is going and asks how the boys are doing, I've run into him a few times (small town). I catch myself thinking of what it would be like to be with him, would I be happier? Would I be treated better? I'm so young and I deserve to be happy and treated good. My boys don't deserve to see me being yelled at, or pushed around. I've done everything I can to make this relationship work, and it seems like any time I try to tell him about how I'm feeling he says "just leave then". Hes put me through so much and for so long I've put up with it thinking "we started this when we were so young, obviously there will be mistakes, we've gotta grow" but dang 2 kids a house and 6 years later things are absolutely terrible. I dont have anyone to talk to and I dont expect anyone to reply but it helps tremendously to just write some of it down.