I really need help. At war with mgself

Reconnected with a great guy and he lets me down with little things but is always there if I’m in trouble or if it’s an emergency. He has his ex living with him because he said he couldn’t just make her homeless. I have been hurt so bad so many times I have my own issues. So I finally lost my shit and told him either she moves out or we can’t associate with each other anymore so he let it sleep that 2 weeks ago she told him to just let her know when he wanted her to move out which really upset me more because he knows I hate her being there yet he hasn’t made her leave. I don’t want to look stupid or get hurt so I told him since he’s had 2 weeks to easily just ask her to leave but hasn’t then I won’t talk to him or be around him until she’s out of his house and if she’s not out by Saturday (3 days from the time I told him) I would have to remove him from my life. I thought it was protecting me but now I miss him like crazy and keep thinking about him. I don’t want to tell him I want to see him after what I told him because he won’t take me seriously when we have another fight about something like this. Please help me figure it out. I can never tell if I’m ignoring red flags or if I’m just damaged and overreacting

I love him honestly but I swore to myself I wouldn’t tell him until I was sure of the relationship