I ghosted my boyfriend of 5 years

I ghosted my toxic boyfriend of 5 years. In January my phone got shit and it’s still off (don’t have money to turn it back on) so I decided to stop talking to him and blocked him on everything. At first I was good with it but now all I wanna do is talk to him. I don’t even miss him, I miss being with someone, I miss the hugs, the cuddles, sleeping next to someone. But I don’t actually miss him. We were together 5 years and I caught the good times we had on one hand. It was more toxic and abusive than it was ever happy😪😔