My heart is breaking

I'm spending time with my four younger cousins. My heart keeps breaking every time they ask about my siblings. I don't have a relationship with my brothers cause they are active drug addicts and my younger brother had a huge amount of skin removed from his arm due to an infection, and it got more infected so who knows what's going to happen, my older brother says hes clean but who knows... I don't talk to my sister because she took me to court to try and get a restraining order on me because dhs was called on her for living with a level three sex offender etc.. anyways they are all toxic but we all miss them terribly. It's taking a toll on me, but when they ask about them and ask if I talk to them it just breaks my heart more I miss them so much 😞 and it's causing me lots of anxiety and more depression