Just venting 😔

Before I start, I KNOW that you can’t make someone leave a toxic relationship if they don’t want to. I KNOW that... but it sure hurts to watch. My sister is married to a man I always thought was such a great guy. Up until recently he was always great friends with my husband, but one day, he just started distancing himself. We didn’t think too much of it because we thought he probably had a lot on his plate. Then we saw a change in her and my other sister lived with them for a short time when they wanted mutual help financially and she saw some things... I think she is in an emotionally abusive relationship but is refusing to admit it. There are some huge red flags:

1) My other sister overheard him yell at her saying, that she was a leech, sucking the life out of him and the biggest mistake he ever made was putting a ring on her finger.

2) She tells us she can’t text us certain things because he checks her phone daily. Apparently he has all her passwords but she isn’t allowed to have any of his.

3) He started messaging his ex and it got pretty inappropriate but she won’t say if he cheated or not. As well as reaching out to multiple women he knew in college and such.

4) He looks for things to get mad at us about. There are 8 of us, and 2 of the brothers went skiing together. One was getting a puppy for Christmas and the other was agreeing to transport and care for the puppy for a couple weeks before so it would be a surprise. This was his way of showing his appreciation. He started telling her how we don’t include his in anything and that he didn’t want her going to the next family thing. No one else was invited to that trip, it was just them.

5) she had mustered up the courage to tell him she wanted to leave. He broke down and said he’d kill himself if she did. He did this in front of his kids.

6) she says she’s accepted that she just wasn’t meant for happiness. 😔

I’m just heartbroken for her but whenever we encourage her to leave, she defends him. It’s really hard to watch. I can only let her know that I’m here for her. 💔