I just need to vent.

I have a history of depression. With my son I had severe PPD to the point where my husband almost hospitalized me. After about 6-7 months post partum, I started improving and feeling normal again. When I got pregnant with my daughter, I started getting anxiety attacks again and having constant depression episodes. At 36w pregnant, my doctor put me on Zoloft to help and to try and decrease my PPD/PPA. It is safe to say it worked for me. Just 2m pp, we moved cross country back to our hometown as my husband surprisingly got stationed there. With the support of our families and getting back into a normal routine, at 5m pp I decided to tell my doctor I wanted to wean off of Zoloft. So for 1 month I decreased my dosage then stopped taking it. My last week of taking the lowest dosage, I had a major episode. For 30 minutes I had an ongoing anxiety attack which led to me feeling extremely suicidal the following 2 hours. The only thing that got me back to reality was sitting on the couch with my kids and nursing my daughter. My husband was amazing with everything I put him through for those few hours and I hope we never go through that again. I told my doctor about that and she said for me to stay on it for another 2 months before trying to wean again, but that I will likely have another episode when weaning. I can't frickin do that to my husband or kids! I made the decision to stay off of it and haven't taken it in a week so far. But the withdrawal symptoms are real! I have been extremely dizzy/lightheaded, have been experiencing vertigo, have gained weight, it frickin caused me to get the worst hemorrhoids due to constipation (which I never had before and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy). I've been reading that it can last anywhere from 3-6 weeks after getting off it, but I'm determined to not go back on it. I just don't want to go through this again. Has anyone experienced this that can help me through the next 2-5 weeks?