therapy

so recently i’ve been thinking of harming myself, and really the only thing that stops me is knowing how sad my mom and best friend would be. but with that being said i can’t talk to my mom about anything because she makes me feel worse about everything and makes it seem like a disappointment to be me. but i also don’t want to bother my friend will all of my problems because it could be stressful her thinking she’s the reason i’m alive. so i was wondering if anyone had any ideas of how to ask my mom for a therapist without her asking to much into why i want one ?