Was I wrong ??

My boyfriend was on my Instagram and saw that my ex had messaged me out the blue I didn’t respond ofc , yet he still got mad at me and honestly went ballistic . The certain type of ex that messaged me was very problematic cold and all around just a bad guy .

My boyfriend is usually very chill guy and doesn’t trip off much so the fact I could literally feel his rage I knew this upset him but why .. I hate my ex to a passion and will never love or like him . I have since moved on and had kids etc there’s no reason for me to look back on the past

During my bfs rage he got frustrated with me after I asked him something regarding the problem and that’s when he legit pulled me over his knees and spanked me multiple times while yelling and chastising me he had a tight hold on me and would not let me go ofc I was mad because I’m not his kid nor am I a little girl . Later he apolgized saying the way I was acting so idiotic upset him and blah blah

Everybody says I was wrong for letting my ex even message me and I deserved it

However I think this one is 50/50?