Crazy Arguements

So my husband and i went from arguing everyday to not arguing at all back to arguing every few days. When we’re arguing he always says something that hurts my feelings to the point i get stumped on what to say back and end up not saying anything back. We’ve been married for almost 4 years so I’m trying to figure out when does the “i only said that because i was mad” moments stop (like saying something out of anger but not meaning it) because at this point I’m thinking if it’s still continuing then he must means it.