Statutory rape/ your opinions? Is it normal that I feel this way? Because many in these situations feel really bad, but I don’t 🤔

Long time ago when I barely turned 14 I had sex with a 18 year old...

my first time wasn’t what I planned in my head, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it but he insisted and I finally said yes that day, it wasn’t in a nice place or his room at least... i expected something pretty for my first time, though it was in the heat of the moment, for him. But hey you never get what you want sometimes, so I’m kind of over it, even though now and then I feel bad/sad that I was little and wished it was different, he didn’t even know what he was doing he was a virgin but you know horny 🙄

another incident with him was not too long ago (I’m 18 now) I was horny and I wanted to have sex with him but my mind just didn’t let me with fears of getting pregnant or something happening with the condom so I told him no a few times, but he almost put it in me, moving my underwear but he didn’t do it.

and recently him and I started talking and we’re kind of dating and we talk and he cries about how bad he feels of what he did saying that he cared for me and he didn’t want me to get hurt and that he hurt me and a lot of other stuff of regret.

He felt bad and tbh I don’t care for it idk but some of you can say I’m blind or it’s toxic but I don’t feel bad or anything about it, I’m fine ? It’s like “whatever it’s the past” thing, It doesn’t phase me or affect me in any way. Is that weird? Maybe because I consented or idk? Idk I just feel like many girls if something like this happened they would of cried and feel bad but I don’t and I feel weird that I don’t have the reaction many do?