Okay this is a bit of a long one but hoping for a mans opinion. My husband has suffered from a temper and anxiety since before we met. He is very hot headed and says really mean things when he loses his cool, doesn’t handle stress well and is even snappier when stressed.

I thought it was something he could work on and I could help him with. We’ve now been married almost 5 years and have a 10 month old daughter. He quit drinking because his temper began getting very bad when he was drinking - it took several ultimatums to get him to quit- finally he did after getting drunk lots when I was pregnant and saying HORRIBLE things to me. Calling me a fucking bitch, this isn’t my house because he’s the one that worked for it, etc.

I tried to forgive it thinking it’s just drunk words and he swore he doesn’t ever mean it. Plus I was 30 weeks pregnant and didn’t feel in a position to leave.

Well now my daughters here and the temper is no better. He’s been on and off anxiety meds which seem to make him crazier - note: never physical but the worst day we’ve had so far he said he ‘could just strangle me’ and lunged at me. I stayed at my moms for a few nights after that and have since told him I will leave him if this continues. He’s trying to get off his anxiety meds right now and has been extremely mean to me. Often in front of our daughter. She’s not old enough to understand but I still think it’s not appropriate and quite honestly not being a good dad. He loses his temper and says things like the house is his cause he worked for it, I’ve never worked hard (not true) im not a nice person I’m a terrible mother terrible house cleaner, always makes me feel like a slacker even tho he’s been resting for the last ten days while I do everything.

Anyway my question is are all men like this in a marriage? Is this what fighting is? It feels like abuse to me but I’m worried all men are like this. I’m ashamed and disappointed in myself to be in this situation. 😥 he grew up with an abusive father so I’m worried he will be unable to change or even get worse.