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This is a very common thing when you don’t your partner for awhile! You start to make yourself believe they are out with some or doing something they shouldn’t because of the previous situation. Instead of thinking of the past why don’t you call him and talk it’s hard being away from your partner for that long. Try planning something with him for once this is all over, that way you have something to look forward to rather than keep looking back.
Letting go of the past. Help
Hey ladies a I have made a post a while back ago about my bf drunkenly cheating on my one time at a party. So a quick recap. So one night he went to a party got blackout wasted and he had sex with a girl from the party. He doesn’t remember the night and the girl hit him up a few days later and told him what happen. He then told me the next day he found out. We were broken up for about 5 months. He put up a fight to get me back. He said that was the worst thing he could ever do to me and he is truly sorry and that he’ll never forgive himself for it. I came to here for advice at the time and many of you guys told me to take him back. After 5 months I did.
After that whole situation he has changed in a good way. He doesn’t party anymore. Doesn’t drink. He puts his focus on me. I mean he always did but now it feels like he does more. And he puts in 10x the effort to make sure I’m happy.
He’s the bf that I always wanted. I didn’t want to get back with him until I felt a have truly let it go. But I have found myself remembering what happened lately and getting really sad as if I didn’t let go. I try not to bring it up to my bf because I want to leave it in the past but sometimes I find myself in a mood with him because of it. Lately I’ve been having dreams about the whole situation. And it feels like I’m going backwards. Not sure why. Idk if it’s this quarantine and the fact that I’m home all day and that I haven’t seen him in over a month. But idk what it is. Am I going backwards? How can I move forward? Any advice. I don’t want to break up with him he’s my best friend my other half he treats me like a queen and I was happy with him once again until these last couple weeks.
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When it comes to situations like that in the first thing that you need to do is forgive yourself. I know it sounds strange but you do. Forgive yourself for being hard on yourself, forgive yourself for making choices and decisions, for guilt etc. we all tend to be hard on ourselves. The second step is forgiving him, not to his face but to yourself not because he deserves it,but because you deserve peace within. This is your internal struggle. You haven’t truly forgiven, if it’s still in the back of your mind stealing and sabotaging your happiness. Maybe try some counseling or journaling or writing him a letter and getting all your thoughts out. Whether you give it to him or but it is up to you. You have not forgiven because it’s causing your second guessing, doubts, insecurities and trust issues. You have to truly let go of the past and leave it there. You haven’t gone through all the stages of grief you just keep circling and mourning the loss of the past. Take time to heal and truly get past this. If you can’t you are only sabotaging your happiness and that’s not fair to you.
You’re not going backwards, your heart is still healing. And being alone with your thoughts can suck sometimes bc it’ll make you remember hard times. I journal a lot, so that helped me get through those moments. If your bf truly changed for the better, don’t break up with him bc you’re remembering the incident. Try talking to him, but let him know you’re not trying to bring up old stuff - this is just something that popped into your mind and you’d like to keep moving forward.
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