In law birthday party troubles...

Hey everyone. I have an almost two year old (birthday is in May) and #2 on the way (no one knows but me and daddy). I am wondering if it is normal for in laws to expect a “cookout” (hidden birthday party) for your children when they are celebrating a birthday? Last year on my daughter’s first birthday I held a party to which almost everyone in the family attended. My mother in law insisted that we have a “traditional birthday cookout” for her as well, promising me no birthday cake or presents. Guess what was at the party along with decorations and a theme? Yup, cake and presents that my in laws kept aside during the party I threw to give to her at their own “cookout”. I felt incredibly offended that my mother in law basically lied to me and withheld presents so that they could give them at their special event. But despite my feelings I didn’t say anything and put on a smile. Now her second birthday is coming up, we have cancelled the party because of COVID-19 until things calm down and social distancing is no longer in order, and my mother in law is messaging me about planning the special “cookout”. Am I nuts for feeling upset that she wants to basically throw another party for my child? In a way it makes me feel like my party for her isn’t good enough for them? Some people tell me to be grateful for people wanting to celebrate my child. But what is so wrong about doing that at a party all together where my family isn’t excluded and is planned by myself? I need help mamas. Would you be upset?