Help/confused

So my boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 months ago. To me it came out of nowhere, people might say that but to me it really did. I came home and he was going home from work and he said his mom wanted to talk to him, he thought he was in trouble and we were joking around and I told him good luck and we were sending eachother memes. We even FaceTimed for about 5 minutes and he was walking to a corner store before talking to his mom. Later I text him did you talk to your mom? And he says he would be at my house in an hour and that his mom was yelling at him because she thought the house smelled like weed because of him but it was the people upstairs. And that maybe he should find another place to live. 3 hours pass and I ask him if he’s ok and he tell me to leave him alone he wants to be alone. And that was basically it. Later that night I’m asking him what’s wrong and he said he wants to focus on himself and be alone and basically broke up with me. The 3 weeks after that were a real roller coaster. Did I mention that when we broke up our 5th year anniversary was coming up in 2 weeks. He blocked me for 3 days and I showed up at his house and his mom asked me what was going on and I said I didn’t know that since they argued he hasn’t talked to me and told me to leave him alone. His mom told me they didn’t talk about me and that I was always welcomed there and let me inside. I went to his room and he was surprised to see me and I wanted to know what was going on. So I asked him and I was crying because I was so confused and he laughed at me. He said I don’t wanna be fucked up but ima laugh. And he told me if I stayed there I would make things worse and he wouldn’t talk to me for longer so after around 30 minutes of trying I left. His mom came after me and asked me what happened I honestly felt so embarrassed because I couldn’t even talk and was so confused at what just happened. I tried and tried talk to him and nothing. His mom and I talked about him getting therapy and she invited me over to try and talk to him and he said therapy would be a waste. Anyways fast forward to now... I stopped talking to him for about 2 weeks nothing happened, he texted me one day around 2 weeks ago to ask if I was ok because his mom had gotten sick ( she’s ok now) but that was about it. And then one day I asked him why he was doing this and he responded with “ you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of being poor, I want to be something, I need to get out of this, and me being in my feelings isn’t going to get me anywhere” and he also said sometimes u have to sacrifice something to get where you want to be and I’m sacrificing you. And I don’t even know how to explain what I feel. We talked about struggles we talked about things he wanted to do, and he was also the type of person that always told me he loved me and always was so caring and just so attentive. And then he just flipped on me especially when we first broke up. 2 days ago we spoke on the phone for about 2 hours and we didn’t really talk about our relationship, it was just us catching up basically and he wasn’t rude or disrespectful. And he also said “If I left it it’s because I knew you deserve better . And I can’t give you that . I say I’m going to change and I never do it”. He’s made mistakes and so have I but why does he feel like he’s not worthy I never demanded anything from him because I already saw how much ambition he had and how he wants a better future and he is a hard worker so to me it wasn’t like he’s a bum, I see his potential and that he’s worthy. He’s had a tough childhood and I know that’s part of why he feels the way he feels. He’s cried to me before about how he felt that things were going against him and we cried together. Why would he feel like I wouldn’t be able to understand. I love him and I know he loves me. I don’t want to rush him or guilt him but I feel like he’s definitely feeling like he’s not even worthy of being loved or being helped even it’s just emotionally. I feel like maybe he needs the friend part of me right now more then the girlfriend part but sometimes he doesn’t even answer my calls or text me back. He never had his read receipts on before and now he does. When we first broke up he was soooo heartless. once when we talked he was talking about how he wants to give his mom a better home, and how he doesn’t want to see her working so much and he was tearing up a little bit but as soon as he started he just as fast caught himself and stopped. If he showed a little emotion he wouldn’t let himself to go any further. For myself I distance myself at first because it was really getting to me how he was acting, when he was never like that before and I couldn’t put myself in the position to get laughed at for crying and saying how I felt. Before when I cried he would always comfort me and hug me. So I stopped trying because I felt like shit everytime I talked to him afterwards. Now I think he’s over that part, I think all his emotions were in high drive and was acting out to push me away and was trying really hard to act so heartless because he was trying to prove he was heartless. When we talked 2 days ago it was back to normal, no crying, no arguing, just talking to eachother. I just don’t know what to think. I love him but I don’t wanna get my hopes up but I also want to be there for him and not give up on him.