Hating the newborn stage..

So I just had my second child. I have a two year old, who I also had a case of the baby blues with when I first had him but I adore him now. So far this newborn stage has made me cry daily. He’s not even a difficult baby really, I just for some reason can’t seem to fully connect yet. We are getting no help from family and friends due to Covid and I find myself just exhausted. I went through this terrible guilt when I brought him home because I was afraid my oldest would feel like I was trying to replace him. He doesn’t seem to mind but even with the Xanax and Zoloft they put me on , I just feel sad and anxious a lot.

Did anyone else go through this? How did you manage to get yourself through it? Lack of sleep probably doesn’t help. Does it sound like postpartum? When did you connect more with the second baby?