Sometimes I feel like I'm done with my family life..

The baby momma drama.. The stepkids.. The husband..

Being pregnant now and feeling stuck

And don't get me wrong.. I love my stepkids, I love my husband and I l😍ve being pregnant.. And I definitely don't want to leave

But just.. Some days there's just that little bit too much...

Some days really creep under my skin..

They're usually days where I'm stressed because his ex has been difficult, my husband was cranky, usually the combination of his ex being difficult and him being sleepdeprived due to his night job.. I've been sleepdeprived because of having my night job WHILE taking care of the children and having had less than 3 hrs of sleep.. Those days that you make eggs for breakfast to the kids and the one kid that needs his special egg but the egg isn't right because it's too thick and their f*ing plate is the wrong damn color and the ketchup is the wrong damn shape..

You do all the things they want to do all day, get yourself all exhausted because you're now 7 months pregnant, and in the end of the day they tell you it was a horrible day because the weather was too nice and they were bored.. The kids have opened up their hearts and tell you all things that their mom told them and you severely disagree with much of it but you're not supposed to judge. (racism, unkind things being said towards the kids, fatshaming people on the internet or calling them ugly(oh including me, even while pregnant), not feeding the kids the entire day or only feeding them sugar, like doughnuts or candy, having babysit tablet on all day every day, teaching them to fight and make fun of eachother)

And then the kids go back to mom and the husband spends the night at his friend and you're left to clean up all their messes.. And then have to have a lonely night all by yourself...

And I've learned to "enjoy" the time by myself.. By cleaning the house and then watching some tv or going for a walk and then taking a relaxing bath and having a good nights sleep.

But those quiet moments after they leave.. And I'm all alone in the empty house.. I could break down.. I miss them all 💔

Also it's a lot harder to enjoy now while cleaning is hard and bathing - ugh - impossible 😩 because pregnant me has grown out of our bathtub..

Just.. One of those days..