Honestly WTF?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years. I’ve expressed to him many times that I’m a bit uncomfortable with staying with his family for more than 3 days. I have no problem with his family, I love them. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting when I socialize, and I want my space afterwards. But I do it anyway because I know it’s important to him. 
You would think that because I do it for him, he could handle 2 hours with my family, right? Wrong. In the 4 years we’ve been together, he’s hung out with my family  if not five times, less than that. Usually this doesn’t bug me because I know he’s busy and I know he wants to relax on his days off. But god damn it, today he had half a day off and canceled work so that he can volunteer at a graduation ceremony “because they don’t have enough people” and he “feels bad”. I helping makes him happy, but he never cancels work spend time with me or to have lunch with my family. 
Wtf? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Am I expecting too much from him? Am I being too selfish? If I’m being crazy, please tell me.

Answer

I’m gonna explain how it works in a man’s mind to you. He dreads spending time with your family like you said And would rather do anything then that period. So he would rather go to the graduation or spend tine with friends and have fun. That’s an escape from reality. He figures he can spend time with you any times. Not a necessity or something that happens only once a year etc. this is his logic. I grew up with a house full of men, always had male best friends etc I I get how they think. Are you being crazy no. Remember common sense isn’t common it’s a fricken super power and not common at all. Common sense would say spend time with you. But guys are guys and want to do fun things. Spend time with their buddies, play video games etc. guys can view us as like their mom, the authority figure, kill joy if you will, that tells them what to do and yells and bosses then around etc.. so when any opportunity comes of course they jump on it and rationalize a reason why, to appease you or thinking it will appease you but only irritates you more. You are reality. Hence why he wants to enjoy himself at the graduation and probably some parties afterwards. Just giving you a heads up. The dynamic has changed in your relationship. In the beginning you were his escape from reality, he couldn’t wait to see you, it was always fun etc. Life happens, things stop being fun, you have kids and life gets complicated. Eat, sleep, work pattern happens. Of course anything outside of that is fun and exciting and breaks up the norm. Can’t knock him for wanting to enjoy life a little. Either you talk to him and get back to the way things were in the beginning, have date nights, be best friends that have fun together or this may not be the best relationship for you and he still has growing up to do. Good luck either way

Answer

You are expecting too little. I'm not saying he should call in sick to spend time with you but after that long, there should be an expectation he comes to your family's events and gets to know them on a personal level.

Answer

GET OUT OF MY DIARY!! Kidding. Message me girl if you need to because I FEEL

Answer

I’m really close with my family and my fiancé is also really close with my family. He works in the oilfield so when he comes home on the weekends he doesn’t wanna do much but just relax. We do spend more time with my family than his though because he’s became best friends with my brothers so we hang out with them. But he feels like his mom gets upset because we don’t spend time with her so he doesn’t always like to go to my family things and that’s totally fine with me. He doesn’t have to be with me all the time. If he would rather go shoot guns with his buddies than go to my family’s house then that’s fine.

Answer

Have you talked to him about it? Are you close with your family?

Answer

Had he already agreed to spending time with your family?

Honestly WTF?

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