am i over-reacting?

Question

last night i was driving around with a guy, who i have been talking to for about 2 weeks (just being friendly). we drove around for hours, singing, listening to music, and talking. towards the end, he started rubbing my thigh and started getting closer. the rubbing got kind of grabby and a bit rough, like he was trying to massage my leg. he got very close to being inside of my thighs if you catch my drift. i tensed up my hands on the steering wheel and i got a little quiet. i was kind of scared to say anything, and i almost felt like i should give in, but i didn’t want to do that. i gave him no inclination that i wanted to do anything like that. we drove around for another hour, and i was a little nervous taking him back in case he tried to force me, but idk. luckily he didn’t, but i just can’t help feeling disgusting and wanting to scratch my skin off. i want to cry a bit as well. i just need to know am i over-reacting?

Answer

He made a move, and if you didn’t give him any indication that you didn’t like the advance, it’s really not him being creepy.  Next time, speak up, or simply move his hand away. He may be a nice guy and he could have thought you were into it.

Answer

I don’t think you’re overreacting but if you didn’t tell him no or say how you felt then he didn’t have any way to know that you didn’t like it, you know? Some people aren’t good at picking up body cues like that. If you like him then maybe you could text him and let him know you didn’t like it and don’t want to be touched like that so soon.

Answer

You are not overreacting. You were put in a situation where you felt saying no was dangerous. I would choose to block him and never see him again. Personally,  I could never trust someone who made me feel like that. 
If you ever end up in a situation like that, go to a bright, well populated place, roll down the windows so people can hear you, and kick him out. He can call someone and get a ride home. That way you have lots of witnesses and probably some cameras watching the situation. 
In the future, with online dating or any first date, have the date in a public place.  Let someone know where you will be in case of emergency. It's also not a bad idea to have a safe call/text set for a certain time where a friend checks in to make sure you are safe and happy. They can give you an excuse to leave if you are uncomfortable without you being rude

Answer

You need to speak up. You have every right to not want to be touched and to tell someone no, from what you've said he did nothing wrong other than not know what you're thinking. Dont be upset with him or yourself. You sounds young and like you're still figuring out boundaries, please just say something if you're feeling uncomfortable you dont ever need to give in or stay silent.

Answer

Yes youre overreacting. He made a move, a pretty common one at that. You didnt stop him so why would he think to stop...this whole needing to ask for permission to do anything and having to get a definitive yes culture is getting really old. Guys arent mind readers, speak up if you dont like something or physically stop them from what they're doing.

Answer

I’m sorry that the people who are responding to you clearly do not understand consent. Your silence cannot and should not be taken for consent for him to touch you. It is okay that you felt grossed out and it’s normal that you didn’t say anything! He caught you off guard and didn’t ask permission to touch you. That is NOT okay of him to do that. I would END that relationship!

Answer

So you are upset that he rubbed your leg? Did you tell him to stop?
I’m not sure I completely understand but:
Do you have a right to be upset if you were touched without permission? Yes. You are allowed to feel however you want about it. It’s your body.

am i over-reacting?

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