So my brother reached out to me two years ago and suggested we bring my mom to live in the US because her business wasn’t doing well. At that time, I had a full time steady job and it was easy for her to get a visa. But that was the same time I got pregnant and started living my BF who is my husband. I kept my old apartment so she could have a place to live and also found her a roommate. She also can’t drive and didn’t have a job so I asked my husband if we could have her babysit and we would pay her. And I also helped her find a second job. My husband and I also helped process her permanent residency and she got approved one week before the pandemic.

So when the pandemic came, my husband told her we need to be on lockdown in one house so he told her she was more than happy to come stay with us since we have a spare room and extra room and we would keep paying her. But my mom refused. Instead she wanted to keep coming to our house and then go to her other job. My husband also said he didn’t feel it was safe for our home since we have a toddler and I’m pregnant and he’s 50. He told her it was risky and so my mom decided if she was going to make a choice, she would choose working at the other place and would look for another job. My husband and I were upset because she didn’t give us notice and we just thought she’d be with us as family but we respected her decision. This definitely caused a rift between my mom and husband. He felt like he’s been there for her and took care of her but after we helped her get her green card, I think she thought it would be easy to get another job.

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But today I found out from the landlord of the house that my mom and my friend haven’t been paying rent for the past 3 months and this made me upset because they had never mentioned anything. They said the banks were closed but I told them they could have informed me. But then my friend also told me my mom is getting resentful towards me because I haven’t asked her about her financial situation but I have been a stay at home mom and my mom knows that and she decided she didn’t want to stay here and so I am wondering how I’m supposed to help her when I did my best and she made a decision herself. Also I asked her if she wants to help me since we have our second baby coming in September and we would pay her, she refused and that’s of course because her and my husband have tension. And previously she told me that people come to America and have made it without relatives. She also told her other employer that my husband fired her because she didn’t want to stop working for them which made me mad. I don’t understand why you’d discuss family issues with your employer. Besides, it’s like she wanted to show her allegiance to her boss and make it look like my husband is bad. Her coworker, cousin told me in confidence. Also my brother works full time and I don’t understand why he can’t help her. Is my mom being unfair or am I being unreasonable? How can I resolve this? I feel emotionally exhausted in addition to being pregnant during this time. I literally just came from the ER and I feel like in addition to my toddler, I have an endless responsibility. Also my mom always triggers me in sad ways. She cheated on my dad and left him for another man when we were 10. So I went to live with my paternal uncle from 11 till I moved here. I brought her to catch up on lost time but it’s like draining.

Thanks so much!