I was recently informed that people (“friends”) think that I never have my baby.... it really shocked me and hurt my feelings, and I don’t notice it. But if it’s true I’d like to fix myself and be a better mother bc my baby deserves that... though I thiughti was doing good.. I just hated hearing that so much....

I have her all through the week, and on a weekend if something comes up or plans come about, I have a sitter, always—(my mom or grandmother) and they’re always more than happy to keep her.

Most of the time the plans consist of going to my BD/fiancé’s friends’ house, where everyone is drinking outside, (except me) and I know if I were to come I’d be inside or outside not enjoying myself bc the guys would be cooking or smoking cigs, or doing whatever it is guys do. And my baby only will sleep in her crib pretty much, so I don’t want to put her to sleep on someone’s bed or floor (not an actual crib) where she could fall or whatever while I’m outside. So instead of going through all that, I usually get someone to watch her...am I wrong for that?

I feel like I’m not the only parent- so I should be able to enjoy myself too if I’m the one that watches her all day while my fiancé works. I know he needs time to relax and have fun bc he works but I do to, right?

Meanwhile— my friend, who doesn’t have access to a sitter—ALWAYS has her kids, and her fiancé and my fiancé are best friends.

But she goes crazy bc she’s never able to enjoy herself, or she always has to worry abt time, or who will watch them, and coming home and a reasonable time (8/10 she misses out) but she lets her fiancé go and do whatever and he doesn’t have to worry about any of the things she has to worry about, bc “she, herself— is his “sitter“ while he enjoys himself )

(I guess you could say?!)

But if most people had access to a sitter, like I do, I’m sure they’d take advantage of it as well.

Like I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m never in a bind if someone wants to do something or if I need to do something important or if I need a break, I always have help. But like I said it’s hardly ever like EVER during the week, only on weekends...

I love my baby to death, so it truly hurts me. I don’t want her growing up thinking I pawn her off when that’s not the case.