What are you doing different than your parents?

Question

Usually there's at least one thing we swear we'll never do/be like our parents when we have our own kids. What is that for you?
For me it's not spanking. And I will be patient with them :)

Answer

-Be active in her interests. 
My brother was in baseball at the same time I was in dance. Parents made time to go to all of his practices, games, and tournaments. They never came to any of my competions, I had to rely on friends parents for rides to practice, they didn't even come see me in the Christmas parade. For further reference, my brother had weekday games, I had weekend competitions. Still couldn't make it to mine. 
-No spanking. 
My dad was always big on spanking. To me it was for the wrong reasons. Usually he was mad about whatever and the result was being spanked. I will never spank/hit my daughter out of anger. By eliminating that as a reaction, I've come to find there's no reason to spank her, ever. 
-Hugs and kisses and I love yous. 
My family has never been the one to hug or say I love you. Until someone passes away.  It's just something that's known. It turned me into a really awkward adult who feels weird hugging anyone and telling anyone I love them. It's taken a lot to get to a more comfortable place doing either of those things. Like a lot, a lot. I don't want her growing up feeling weird about showing/telling people she loves them. 
-Listening to her and allowing her to make mistakes. Not dangerous mistakes. But things that I don't necessarily agree with but she'll never learn if I shield her from everything. 
-Allowing her to be herself. Freely. Openly. Unapologetically. I not here to censor who she loves, how she dresses, what she does to her hair, or the piercings she chooses to get. So long as she's happy and healthy, I'm good.

Answer

I’m being more open with my children. Not hiding things and explaining things to them. Because of that, when my 11 year old just started her period she knew what to do and that she could come to me. I didn’t have that with my mom

Answer

I will be a big participant in my childrens extracurriculars. I will go to practices and games and show interest. My parents were good parents but it did hurt my feelings that they weren't involved more and I was embarrassed because I always had to ask for rides to practices/games from friends.

Answer

No spanking her 
No yelling and screaming at her 
Developing open communication 
No judging her (goes with above) 
No lying to her 
Etc etc lol. My parents are great examples of what not to do.

Answer

I won't be whispering threat's of violence in my daughters ear when she misbehaves in public. Or try to buy her love whilst showing no affection(Birth mum)
Otherwise my dad and step mum were great I actually try my best to be as good a they are. 
They always put us first in everything they did. 
Even when we were poor as hell they Made sure we were clothed feed and had a holiday once a year. Taught us to work hard for the things we want but that money isn't everything, always gave us a kiss and cuddle before bed and we always knew were loved.

Answer

My father was verbally and physically abusive, so there are many things he did that I would never do including telling kids they are fat/stupid/ugly, saying he wished we were dead or never born; kicking, hitting or attempting to strangle. 
My mother is a wonderful mom, though she did spank occasionally, which I won’t do. The other thing I would like to differently from my mom is to give praise and compliments to my child in a way to build self-esteem. Like I said, my mom is great, but doing well was always just kind of expected and things were mostly said when you did something wrong. Like I could bring home a report card with all As except for one B, and it would be “good job on the As, but what are you going to do about that B?” My mom and I have talked about this, and how even now I feel like she never tells me when I’m doing something right, only when she thinks I’m wrong. She admits it is a problem, but it’s probably because her parents were the same way. So, I’m hoping to break the cycle. 🙂

Answer

Great post

Answer

We homeschool and we don't spank.

Answer

Honestly my parents were really good parents and I feel incredibly lucky that I was raised by them. But they did do spankings occasionally which I won’t do, and I’ll be much more verbal about my love and feelings.

Answer

I will never ever spank my son and I will always make him feel loved and that his feelings matter.

What are you doing different than your parents?

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