Will anyone love me?

Why is life like this? I was so eager to get pregnant, and yesterday I find out that everything my sons dad told me was lies. I felt that if I got pregnant with my son it would be better , he wouldn’t be so jealous and controlling. Then he begun to drink. We separated for a while and messed around a few times during the virus. Well , now I’m pregnant. Again. A single mom at 19 with two kids. I’m still in college, still working. How will I manage life once this baby is born? I’ve always wanted a family and a house , he’s immature, he’s not healthy, he’s not a person I feel safe around. I feel so dumb so please don’t judge me. I’ve been controlled, manipulated and lied to these past two years and I was blind to see it. I thought he’d change. I guess not. Will anyone love me again?