I don’t know what to do

First off, I appreciate anyone who reads this. I had a cp in March, now I’m about 4 weeks pregnant and just feel sad and disconnected. I’m usually quite enthusiastic and I just feel miserable. I was trying to blame the hormones but I’m honestly unsure. My future child’s father is over the moon and so are both our families. But I’m not, it’ll be our first. He’s not understanding to what snapped in me and neither am I. I feel like I can’t talk about it because at least I got pregnant. I I know I should appreciate getting pregnant but the farthest I went last time was 11 weeks and 5 days and I was just down right down and low the entire time. Does this ever go away? Like why can’t I just be happy like everyone else? Does pregnancy really jack you up?