am i wrong for not wanting to take him back

we were together for 5 years .. recently broke it off because i need to heal from past physical abuse and i've also cheated, he sees nothing but good in me and is super apologetic.. even though he was abusive before and after he knew i cheated. He says i made mistakes too and he forgave me so i should pretty much be over it but for some reason i don't feel that way. Is it understandable to be hurt still or should i just say hey i deserved it anyways. I feel wrong and bitter for not forgiving but i just don't want to get back together and that's his main focus.