So last week I hung out with friends and we played a drinking game. We all kind of got drunk and eventually two guys left and it was just me, two other girls and the guy whose house we were hanging out at. He was drunk too (I guess) he dropped the rest off but drove me back to his place (I was in the car too when he dropped them off) I can’t remember agreeing to sleep over (I slept over once or twice before, he was one of my male friends) I have never been romantically or sexually interested in him. I think we kissed earlier that night but as I was saying I was pretty drunk. He gave me clothes to sleep in, but all I can remember from that night is that we kissed (again?), I gave him oral sex and he tried to finger/fist (?) me and tried to put it in but I was not aroused (aka dry). The next morning I woke up and felt ashamed and I was kind of in shock but in my head I was trynna laugh it off. He later dropped me off and I asked him if he could not tell anyone else (our mutual friends) he agreed. (He probably will tho). Last week I felt super disgusted and violated and I know I shouldn’t have drunk that much but we were all drinking and I just like to drink bc I dont wanna feel. I’m depressed and last week my depression just got worse. I dont know if this is sexual assault since I was drunk and he prob was too? But then again if he was really drunk he prob couldnt have been driving?? Idk I know that someone who is drunk cant give consent but in this case we both were?? Idk I just feel disgusting and I feel kinda suicidal bc of everything thats going on in my life. I’ve been a victim of SA/rape before so I also just feel stupid for letting this happen.