I want a baby

I want a child and have for a really long time but there’s a few things stopping me. For 1 and this is a huge reason why is child birth. I’m absolutely terrified of child birth. I already have an anxiety disorder. Anything painful or scary my anxiety goes crazy. I have panic attacks about death and anything bad. And 2 I’m not in a relationship and I’ve always wanted to be married before having kids. I personally don’t want to be a women who has a kid with someone I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with. I want to be a housewife raising the kids while my husband works. Now a days so many ppl are single with a bunch of kids or have multiple baby daddy’s and I don’t want to be part of everyone else. Does that make me sound awful? Idc if that’s what they want or choose to do it’s just not what I want.