Mom Life (Things No One Told Me)

I made one of these during my pregnancy and now that little man is finally here, it’s time for mom edition!

Things No One Told Me Before Having A Newborn: (or maybe they did, and I’m just restating the facts)

*Note to add: a lot of these may only be applicable if breastfeeding

1. Sleeping through the night is a myth. Even if your baby (miraculously does), you will not.

2. (If breastfeeding) Your boobs smell like milk. All the time. So does your shirt, your bed, your blankets, and everything else you come in contact with.

3. Let downs feel like a small UFC fighter punching you repeatedly in the tiddies.

4. You just washed your sheets? Hahahahaha BLOWOUT.

5. Baby socks disappear in the laundry just as frequently if not more than your own do. You’ll ever know sanity again.

6. Okay, baby is changed, fed, I’ve pumped, now I can just sit down and rela.. it’s time to do it all again.

7. Think you can go without breast pads? Think you might skip wearing a bra today? Think again. *cue milk fountains in the middle of Target*

8. Diaper changes are immediately followed by a shart to wake the ancestors.

9. If a game show were to exist in which the fastest shower wins, all moms would win. (In and out in 2 minutes or less, including a shampoo and condition)

10. When your baby cries, you cry. When your baby sleeps, you lay next to them wondering if you should sleep or do adult things (just long enough for them to wake up before you can decide). Date nights are far less frequent and when you do get out, you think of the baby the whole time. Exhaustion, insanity, and a love greater than any other are guaranteed.

Thanks for reading mamas! Hope you found some humor/truth in this. And hang in there!