Trust issues; how do I get over them?

Question

I’ve been having trust issues with my boyfriend for a long time now, and it’s because of past relationships where I’ve been hurt. I love him so much and don’t want to lose him. He reassures me SO MUCH and I feel bad for having these problems. It’s really all in my head too. Does anyone’s ave any tips tricks etc? Anything helps!💓

Answer

I can so relate!! I have major insecurities & trust issues due to many past experiences of getting played/hurt. I hate it so much, because sometimes the smallest things can set my insecurities & anxiety off. I’ve talked about it with therapist & she recommends trying to take a step back in those moments & think about it more rationally, asking yourself if it’s something u actually believe to be true (what proof is there, etc), or if it’s something that could really be nothing & ur simply reading too much into it. As well as having open & honest talks with ur partner about those feelings/thoughts, so they can try to understand where ur coming from. However, she also said it’s very possible that, unfortunately, I just may always have these issues no matter what 🤷‍♀️ and that I would hopefully find a partner who’s able to accept that & be willing to give me the reassurance I need, if/when I need it. 
My current boyfriend & I have been together almost a year, we met on Facebook & we’re long distance, which in itself can trigger things sometimes, but so far he’s been good about giving me reassurance when I need it... even though there have been times when I know it’s frustrated him. He even admitted to me during a recent conversation, that in the past, he probably would’ve given up on someone with these issues by now, but said he really loves me, and that as u (generally speaking) get older (he’s also 12 years older than me), get more mature, and as u get to know a person as a whole, u tend to be more understanding of what they’ve been through & why they are the way they are. And, I absolutely love him even more for that!! He’s also told me he loves me even more for being so open with him about my past, in regards to this & other things. So, I feel damn lucky to have him!

Answer

Therapy would help.

Answer

I don’t think there’s any “tricks”, I think it requires confronting why you have a hard time trusting him even though he’s trying to reassure you. That could mean counseling to help you understand why you still feel this way and to heal from past relationships. Unfortunately, you just might not be in a place to be in a relationship right now until you’ve learned to heal and deal with this going forward.

Answer

I feel like we are having the same problem. I’d love to chat!

Trust issues; how do I get over them?

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